Gajas boas

Friday, June 17, 2005

Manta de Retalhos VII

Retalhista anterior: Pepe Santiago
E eu a dar-lhe com a reunião, já devia saber que é amanhã, acho que estou a ficar senil, e com tanta variação de humor, também esquizofrénico.

Olha que situação engraçada! Cinco réis de gente a ameaçar-me com uma barra de ferro que é quase da altura dele. Que é que eu faço agora… Gentilmente profiro “ ó espécie de hobbit mal acabado traçado de ewok, o que é que vai fazer afinal com essa agulha de tricot? Espero que não esteja a pensar em descompor a minha linda figura.”

Não tardou a resposta. A brandir a barra ferrugenta, o taxista encheu a boca, e com a peruca segura pela pouca cola ou graxa, não tenho a certeza, que lhe restou depois do cachaço que lhe mandei, disse com toda a educação que os seus paizinhos e a profissão lhe deram: “Ó grandessíssimo filha da puta, entras assim no meu táxi e pensas, que lá por teres um fato e uma gravata, podes fazer tudo o que te apetece? Anda cá que eu vou-te contar uma história que nunca mais vais esquecer!”

“Desculpe, antes de fazer qualquer coisa, devo dizer-lhe que acabou de cometer um erro gramatical.” Disse eu com toda a segurança aparente, mas já com os meus órgãos internos borrados de medo.

“Eu sou um homem, logo quando profere “filha da puta” está errado. Tem que haver uma concordância entre o que profere e o meu género que neste caso é masculino. Deste modo, a expressão seria “filho da puta”, entendeu?”

“Estou-me a cagar para essas merdas, ó roto de merda, eu falo como bem me apetecer e já vais ver que tenho razão!”

Começa a correr atrás de mim, e começo a lembrar-me quando era puto e fugia dos brutamontes, cagadinho de medo, mas sempre a insultá-los, com o parco vocabulário que possuía na altura. Invariavelmente saía sempre a mesma coisa, maricas, maricôncio, corno, cabrão, que mais que isso já dava direito a umas reguadas.
Próximo retalhista: Manannan

13 Comments:

  • At 9:31 AM, Blogger Miguel de Terceleiros said…

    E viva o poder de encaixe! Será que vamos entrar numa onda saudosista da infância?!

     
  • At 2:30 PM, Blogger Rafael said…

    Eheheheh...vocês ainda matam o carago do homem antes do fim da manta...
    Muito bom!

     
  • At 2:33 PM, Blogger Sandra Feliciano said…

    Ora aí está algo que neste momento invejo: Essa "sapiência" para postar imagens a meio do texto...

    Por acaso nenhuma alminha caridosa e sapiênte nestas matérias quer fazer a gentileza do dia e ensinar-me como se faz?

    Ainda hoje andei ao sopapo com o meu blog por causa disso e o gajo ganhou outra vez! Não me deixou pôr nem uma no meio do texto, divertiu-se a acomulá-las todas no início do texto tipo panquecas no prato do pequeno almoço. Irra!

     
  • At 9:57 PM, Blogger louiserickson8647 said…

    ='Brand New News Fr0m The Timber Industry!!'=

    ========Latest Profile==========
    Energy & Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY)
    Current Price $0.15
    ================================

    Recognize this undiscovered gem which is poised to jump!!

    Please read the following Announcement in its Entierty and
    Consider the Possibilities�
    Watch this One to Trad,e!

    Because, EGTY has secured the global rights to market
    genetically enhanced fast growing, hard-wood trees!

    EGTY trading volume is beginning to surge with landslide Announcement.
    The value of this Stoc,k appears poised for growth! This one will not
    remain on the ground floor for long.

    KEEP READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ===============
    "BREAKING NEWS"
    ===============

    -Energy and Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY) owns a global license to market
    the genetically enhanced Global Cedar growth trees, with plans to
    REVOLUTIONIZE the forest-timber industry.

    These newly enhanced Globa| Cedar trees require only 9-12 years of growth
    before they can be harvested for lumber, whereas worldwide growth time for
    lumber is 30-50 years.

    Other than growing at an astonishing rate, the Global Cedar has a number
    of other benefits. Its natural elements make it resistant to termites, and
    the lack of oils and sap found in the wood make it resistant to forest fire,
    ensuring higher returns on investments.
    T
    he wood is very lightweight and strong, lighter than Poplar and over twice
    as strong as Balsa, which makes it great for construction. It also has
    the unique ability to regrow itself from the stump, minimizing the land and
    time to replant and develop new root systems.

    Based on current resources and agreements, EGTY projects revenues of $140
    Million with an approximate profit margin of 40% for each 9-year cycle. With
    anticipated growth, EGTY is expected to challenge Deltic Timber Corp. during
    its initial 9-year cycle.

    Deltic Timber Corp. currently trades at over $38.00 a share with about $153
    Million in revenues. As the reputation and demand for the Global Cedar tree
    continues to grow around the world EGTY believes additional multi-million
    dollar agreements will be forthcoming. The Global Cedar nursery has produced
    about 100,000 infant plants and is developing a production growth target of
    250,000 infant plants per month.

    Energy and Asset Technology is currently in negotiations with land and business
    owners in New Zealand, Greece and Malaysia regarding the purchase of their popular
    and profitable fast growing infant tree plants. Inquiries from the governments of
    Brazil and Ecuador are also being evaluated.

    Conclusion:

    The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little
    known Companies That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens.
    This s-t0ck will not be a Secret for long. Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right
    Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!!


    GO EGTY!


    All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
    We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any
    statements that express or involve discussions with respect to predictions,
    goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, object'ives, assumptions or
    future events or perfo'rmance are not
    statements of historical fact and may be
    "forward,|ooking statements." forward,|ooking statements are based on expectations,
    estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number
    of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ
    materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from
    third party (IR Marketing). Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified
    through the use of words such as: "pr0jects", "f0resee", "expects". in compliance with
    Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of
    this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings
    due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shar,es may be sold
    at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company.
    Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and
    opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not
    to place undue reliance on
    forward,|ooking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations
    involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially
    from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to
    buy or sell st-0cks, this text is or informational purpose only and you should seek
    professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related
    with buying or selling st0ck-s, penny st'0cks are very high risk and you can lose your
    entire inves,tment.

     
  • At 12:12 AM, Blogger jami71susan said…

    damn good blog, check out mine http://juicyfruiter.blogspot.com, comments always welcome!

     
  • At 2:30 AM, Blogger requiescatinpacem said…

    Gostei!!!... sério!!

    Parabéns!!

     
  • At 9:37 PM, Blogger lennymartin42728542 said…

    I really enjoyed your blog. This is a cool Website Check it out now by Clicking Here . I know that you will find this WebSite Very Interesting Every one wants a Free LapTop Computer!

     
  • At 4:50 AM, Blogger joeflynn42854805 said…

    Make no mistake: Our mission at Tip Top Equities is to sift through the thousands of underperforming companies out there to find the golden needle in the haystack. A stock worthy of your investment. A stock with the potential for big returns. More often than not, the stocks we profile show a significant increase in stock price, sometimes in days, not months or years. We have come across what we feel is one of those rare deals that the public has not heard about yet. Read on to find out more.

    Nano Superlattice Technology Inc. (OTCBB Symbol: NSLT) is a nanotechnology company engaged in the coating of tools and components with nano structured PVD coatings for high-tech industries.

    Nano utilizes Arc Bond Sputtering and Superlattice technology to apply multi-layers of super-hard elemental coatings on an array of precision products to achieve a variety of physical properties. The application of the coating on industrial products is designed to change their physical properties, improving a product's durability, resistance, chemical and physical characteristics as well as performance. Nano's super-hard alloy coating materials were especially developed for printed circuit board drills in response to special market requirements

    The cutting of circuit boards causes severe wear on the cutting edge of drills and routers. With the increased miniaturization of personal electronics devices the dimensions of holes and cut aways are currently less than 0.2 mm. Nano coats tools with an ultra thin coating (only a few nanometers in thickness) of nitrides which can have a hardness of up to half that of diamond. This has proven to increase tool life by almost ten times. Nano plans to continue research and development into these techniques due to the vast application range for this type of nanotechnology

    We believe that Nano is a company on the move. With today�s steady move towards miniaturization we feel that Nano is a company with the right product at the right time. It is our opinion that an investment in Nano will produce great returns for our readers.

    Online Stock trading, in the New York Stock Exchange, and Toronto Stock Exchange, or any other stock market requires many hours of stock research. Always consult a stock broker for stock prices of penny stocks, and always seek proper free stock advice, as well as read a stock chart. This is not encouragement to buy stock, but merely a possible hot stock pick. Get a live stock market quote, before making a stock investment or participating in the stock market game or buying or selling a stock option.

     
  • At 3:25 AM, Blogger tandywilliams6350 said…

    I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

    http://pennystockinvestment.blogspot.com

     
  • At 6:23 PM, Blogger michelfrie15174315 said…

    Get any Desired College Degree, In less then 2 weeks.

    Call this number now 24 hours a day 7 days a week (413) 208-3069

    Get these Degrees NOW!!!

    "BA", "BSc", "MA", "MSc", "MBA", "PHD",

    Get everything within 2 weeks.
    100% verifiable, this is a real deal

    Act now you owe it to your future.

    (413) 208-3069 call now 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

     
  • At 9:08 AM, Blogger Paulo Sempre said…

    "instantes da vida real"

    Imaginação qb

    Regresso ao passado

    gramática de lingua portuguesa

    devaneis singulares...

    Risss
    abraço
    Paulo

     
  • At 3:35 PM, Blogger Luisa Seabra said…

    ahahahahahahahahahahahah!
    no comments!

     
  • At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hello I just entered before I have to leave to the airport, it's been very nice to meet you, if you want here is the site I told you about where I type some stuff and make good money (I work from home): here it is

     

Post a Comment

<< Home